Tea and Sympathy please

I've just discovered that writing a press release is not a simple science. Think as a journalist, make the book 'newsy'. Remember the journo doesn't give a stuff about your new book, how hard you worked or how nice the pictures are. Remember to use Times NR or Calibri. Don't make it too long. Get all the right information in. Remember they will give it 10 seconds. 

It's a bit like walking a tightrope. Blindfold. With no pants on.

And the other thing I've been tackling today is creating a Fan Page on Facebook. Why do the help page visuals differ from the reality on my screen? Why is there a 'change page name' button on the visual, and not on my own page?

Right, that's it! I need help. Dogs - put the kettle on.

If I sound drunk, it is because I have been glued to my desk and computer for 24 hours a day for the last 3 weeks and have forgotten how to behave in public.

  

In the spirit of 2012, I have now completed Royal Fleas, a story about the Queen's corgis in time for release for the Diamond Jubilee in June. I also had a story about the Titanic written up as dummy book form which I was considering for this year; Darn! I should have thought up a witty yarn about the Olympics too!

Royal Fleas is currently off at the publishers, being proofed, so the long wait (and the stalking of the postman) begins in earnest again.

With this feat of insane indurance out of the way, I shall now think long and hard about Wally and Burt, a story about a dog and his best friend (with a twist). In the meantime, here's a preview of Royal Fleas.

Mr Horatio Flowers-Simkinson, the Queen's horrible Secretary,
doing the job he loves the most.

Sophie, her hand knitted dog suit and the Queen's surprise!

Scary Tax Lady who didn't laugh at my jokes

After the nervewracking experience of phoning the United States Tax Office, I can now officially say I have my US Tax Identification Number. Sadly, the lady in Philedelphia didn't understand  2 out of every three words I said and by the time I had spelt all my address and got to the county of 'Wight' she thought I was taking the P*ss.

Anyhoo, Vincent is now rocking on Amazon.com and I took possession of forty copies that a nice postman brought today.  

It is also ready for downloading on Kindle; you don't have to have an actual Kindle, you can download the app on iPad or similar. This is a link to it:

www.amazon.co.uk/Vincent-and-the-Vampires-ebook/dp/B007PSIVDI/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1334168749&sr=8-2

On top of all that excitement, I am working my little socks off trying to get Royal Fleas ready in time for the Jubilee. Here's a preview of the front cover.

Royal Fleas, indeed.

Crazy moose that I am, I've started work on another story which heavily features the Queen and her Corgis. That's not the crazy bit. The Crazy Bit is that I'm trying to get it published and in circulation in time for the Diamond Jubilee. 

I tried it out on publishers some ten years ago. The general opinion was that it was a good story, but because it was very distinctly Queen Elizabeth 2, and as she was then 74, the book would become obsolete should she pop off to the other side. 

Just think of all the 10p's they could have earned in fees in the last decade! Who knows how long she'll live for? She's looking fantastic and I fully expect her to top 100! 

 Here's a scruffy drawing of a spread from ROYAL FLEAS.