Twaddle and Nonsense: Things to do part 3.

After enjoying a second slice of cake and wondering which of us had been foolish enough to forget the custard, we noticed that all was not well.

Instead of falling back to Earth as I had imagined, we seemed to be slowing down. According to my copy of Astronautism from Scratch; How to Build An Escape to Space When We've Used Up the Earths Resources and are About to Become Extinct, I may have made a mathematical error. It seems our slingshot past Venus had been a bit vigorous and we had missed the Earths atmosphere by 15cm.

What did this mean? It meant we'd eventually run out of cake. We'd be fine for air for months because being in charge of making the rocket feel homely meant Wally had brought his favourite Spider Plant. He has quite a collection of them and his basket at home looks like the Garden of Eden crossed with a dog fur recycling centre.

But if we did have to stay on the rocket for longer than anticipated, we MIGHT run out of water. I looked at the fifteen thousand 4 litre bottles of water that stood in the corner and decided not to worry about it at the moment.

Maisie was very flustered. Back at home, she had been staring up at the sky since the rocket had taken off and had given herself a stiff neck. She was beginning to think something had gone wrong and there was only one thing to do.

Go and get in her basket and hide under the blanket.

To be continued....

Diary; More things to do before I get old.

Friday..


It was remarkably easy to take off. Our Wallace & Gromit style automatic match-striking device worked a treat as it lit the tank of lighter fluid. Wally was a bit worried about our house & garden shrinking as we shot off up into the atmosphere, but I was too busy to explain about things getting smaller as you move away from them. 

 

It took an awfully long time to get into ACTUAL space. I managed to make three cups of tea and Wally ate fifteen doggy biscuits. Space was pretty weird. They say that in space, no one can hear you scream, but has anyone tried singing Land of Hope and Glory?

Earth looked tiny a blue from so far up. We switch on Wally's iPhone and googled Commander Chris Hadfield 

so that we could look at his photos and compare them to what we could see. He had worked on the International Space Station as a photographer and pop star and recently returned home. If anyone knew which direction to go in, it'd be Cmdr Chris!

We looked at the Isle of Wight. 



Being in space wasn't like I'd imagined. Floating got a bit annoying after a while because playing Twister was IMPOSSIBLE!! and when we had a go at Cluedo, the murder weapons kept disappearing. We decided to do a flypast of Venus and then head back home.

We were surprised to see Beardy Branson testing out the new Dreamliner. It looked as though he was giving someone a lift home, but we couldn't be sure.

We saw Saturn from a distance.
It was very beautiful.

Then we aimed our rocket nose towards the Wighty and settled back with a nice cup of tea and a slice of chocky cake.

to be continued....

Diary; Things to do before I get old.

Thursday 30th May

It occurred to me as I was looking at the moon this evening, that there were still three things left on my list of Things To Do Before I Get Too Old.

1. Take up Pole Vaulting at Olympic level.

2. Go on a cruise with Cap'n Jack Sparrow and

3. Become an astronaut.

Obviously the first two are a bit unrealistic, but the third...

I asked the dogs whether they'd be up for an adventure.

"I actually think someone has to stay and oversee the well being of the dog biscuits," said Maisie in rather pinched tones. She had never been much of an explorer.

Wally had his usual 'up for anything' expression, so we decided to go tomorrow, Friday, being as it was shopping day and there'd be plenty of food to take with us.

Friday 31st May

We packed a large chocolate cake, a Quorn curry, some biscuits (human and dog) and a packet of frozen peas. If one of us bumped our head, they would come in useful: if we ran out of food, we could eat them. If we got bored, we could play a variation of Tiddlywinks.

This morning we hauled the rocket out of our shed and dusted it down. It had fallen out of the sky last summer and we hadn't yet found a use for it. Now was it's moment to shine, although not literally as it was quite mucky.

I climbed up into the cockpit and Wally peered out of the window.

"Stand back Maisie, you might get your earfluff singed," he wuffed.

To be continued....

Reasons to be Cheerful, 1 2 3...

Well, what a week. It started on Bank Holiday Monday with a brilliant Bembridge Street Fayre. The weather was glorius and it was heaving with people; I sold tons of books!! If only I could have one of those a week!!

People that I meet at fayres often ask me where they can buy my books on the high street. The best news of all is that my books are going to be in WATERSTONES!!!!! Yeehaa! You can buy them off the shelf at Waterstones in Newport, Isle of Wight, or ask your local Waterstones to order Wally and Bert, BFF's or Royal Fleas for you, or go to waterstones.com and when I re-issue Vincent and the Vampires under my own publishing name, you will be able to get that too!

I intend to get going on the artwork for Flossie Bonce this week, with a view to it being printed and ready for sale in September. Here's a sneaky look at a first drawing of the front cover.

I really am ridiculously excited! I feel like I'm 9 again, been to a party, had too much sugar and need to lie down for a while!

Half a page in the County Press!!!!!

Well by crumbo! A few weeks ago Reuben in Babushka Books sent the local newspaper some photos of our book signing event and I independently sent them a press release about Wally and Bert, BFF's. I've been looking for a tiny snippet of an article in the paper, about either, without much success and when the latest edition came out yesterday I looked through with interest, then disappointment that another week had passed.

Get your eyes tested Marriner! Harry pointed out the HALF PAGE on page 3 of the Weekender (Isle of Wight County Press) and I nearly fell off the draining board - I was washing up at the time. You know, being an author isn't all glam parties and holidays on private yachts (actually, none of it is.) No less than 2 articles! One with a big pic from Babushka, the other a goofy pic of me in my studio and the info about the new book. Wowsers - thanks County Press.

Next weekend (18th May) I am going to be at St Mildred's church fair in Whippingham. I had a really lovely time at Seaview Street Fair on Bank holiday Monday and realise that the best places to be and to meet people are the ones where folk don't have to pay a fortune to get in!!  I haven't done a church fair before... do you think they mind Vegetarian Vampire Bats?

Babushka Books

I had a fab time when I visited Babushka Books in Shanklin at the beginning of April. The children got me drawing all sorts of interesting things and when I asked one very little boy what his drawing was, I mistakenly thought he said 'tadpole'. I shall have to retune my ear trumpet, because he actually said 'apple'.

Here we are having a prolonged version of Vincent and the Vampires.

And here's a real live signing of a book! I love my job.

 

 

 

It's such a lovely bookshop, full of books that you won't find elsewhere. If you're a Wighter, or on holiday here, I recommend you seek it out - next to the medical centre in Shanklin.

Thanks to everyone who came - look out for more events over the summer.

My first Blogger Review!!

A while ago I saw some blogger children's book reviews by Polly on Twitter. I asked if I could send her a parcel of Fleas and I'm delighted to say she liked them and posted this review on blogger and twitter:

http://thelittlewoodenhorse.blogspot.co.uk/

So with my first blogger review, I'm ready for a rush. I'm republishing Royal Fleas soon under my publishing name of Scarlett Inc. There's not much difference, except a few tweaks and the colours will hopefully print in a more vibrant mode.

Here's me and my trusty radio, working on Wally and Bert and listening to Radio Solent. I really need to tidy up!!